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Pearl Flores

Pearl Flores

In His Arms Leader

Hi! I’m Pearl Flores and am one of the leaders of In His Arms, a ministry that has helped change the trajectory of my life and heart.

My journey to get here started as a senior in high school. I was incredibly (and still am) in love with my high school sweetheart. When we found out we were pregnant we were excited, nervous, joyful, and afraid. Every emotion that we could feel, we felt. A few weeks later devastation hit. We lost our sweet baby in what became the first of nine miscarriages throughout our marriage.

As the years went on, as we lost the other pregnancies, my heart became hardened, and depression and anxiety kicked in. Our pregnancy losses were suffered in silence, feeling ashamed for the havoc that was being wrecked in our lives and marriage. I blamed myself and believed the losses happened because I was a horrible person.

Through the trauma, my heart continued to shatter and I knew if something didn’t change, I’d give up. I had known who Jesus was most of my life, so when a friend invited me to her church’s women’s retreat, I reluctantly went. I met some truly incredible women at the retreat who began to show me who I was in Christ.  Unbeknownst to me, God put these women in my path so that I could see Him through them. So that I could feel Him through them.  So that I could be completely vulnerable to Him through them.

Through these friendships, I began to seek the only healing that could make me whole. As I let God into my heart the pain of losing my children was laid at His feet. The tears that were shed were counted and held against His heart as if it were the most precious thing in the world. Little by little I began to accept His grace and forgiveness. I began to accept His loving kindness and mercy. I began to realize my miscarriages and barrenness didn’t define who I was. Instead, it illuminated a heart, though scarred, that was beating to love, dream and serve. But, one thing was still missing.

As healing from the losses continued, I learned about In His Arms. Attending a session allowed me to recognize I had forgiven everyone but me. For so long I hated myself for not being able to protect my children. I hated myself for not being able to provide a son for my husband. I hated everything about me. In my session, God set me free of shame, guilt, and self-hatred in such a way that my passion is to help others find that same freedom.

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