Hello, my name is Ashley Vanderpool, I am one of the healing facilitators for Restored Nation and would love to share a piece of my journey with you. I got pregnant for the first time at 16, just a couple months before my 17th birthday. I fought hard to keep him and on October 10th, 2000 I gave birth prematurely to a beautiful 2lb, 6oz, boy in the NICU. I was young and had no coping skills for a new baby; let alone a new baby in the hospital. Just two months after giving birth, I was pregnant again. During this time, I was covered in more shame than I can express. Out of fear I chose abortion. My experience from this is still foggy as I’ve shut the experience up and shoved it deep down inside.
In March of 2001 my son died from baby shaken syndrome at the hand of his father. I was crushed. I believed the lie that this was my fault, this was punishment for not choosing life before.
June of 2001 I was pregnant again and it felt like a second chance. However, I chose to believe the lie that because of what happened with our son it was not a good time. I found myself on that cold table again choosing abortion. I came out of this a different person. Something inside of me died and I became frozen.
I spent the next handful of years in negative life cycles. Depression, anxiety, promiscuity, self-destruction and working really hard to hide my darkness.
In my late 20’s something started shifting. I was tired of the negative cycles and desperate to find something different for myself, and for my 3 living children. This shifting landed my husband and children in Washington and eventually at Heritage Church NW.
I found myself at a women’s retreat where I heard Pastor, Jessica Layne, speak about her abortion and a Bible study that helped her heal. I was shocked! This is not something you typically hear about at church and I HAD to do this!!
My journey with She’s Restored started in January of 2020. I had the safe, loving space to grow, learn and grieve. I have known of Jesus my whole life but to understand what His character is and what He says about my Identify and the forgiveness He offers healed me.
I started this journey heavy like many. I carried childhood trauma, brokenness, and dark secrets. It was masked with over working, people pleasing and hidden tears. Now I walk confident and FREE. I am a daughter of the King and I want everyone to know Him and heal from their past trauma.
It is a great honor to walk alongside others in their journey. There is healing waiting for you.